What if God was one of us

I have nothing against nor will I want to (this happened between me and Zeus, long story short lightning HURTS) all I want to do is understand him (I would like to say her, but if that were to be true, SHE wouldn't have messed it up this bad). To understand "the creator" (I refuse to use the word divine because that's how I describe babes) there are several books you could read about him, he has more biographies than any real person, it's crazy.

Whenever I say such things as I don't believe in God, I always get this bullshit response "Well he doesn't believe in you". Isn't his job to care? I feel like the angry saboteur who doesn't get along with is parents (well I don't in real life), the logic behind such a thing is non-the-less mind boggling: a man living in the clouds who created everything, forces you to cut off a piece of your you-know-what (not Voldemort) and you can't have sex, especially gay sex or he'll turn you into salt, this makes perfect sense. I liked it better when there were multiple Gods and they all had sex with everything, Zeus actually had sex with sun light, now that is what I call determination. Then later on this idea of one God came along and made everything boring, and for some reason you had to fear him; aren't you supposed to love him but instead you fear him? I don't think I can love and fear the same thing. To top everything off, he had a son (he actually had several but Christians don't acknowledge that because there is only Jesus!) he acts as if we need his son, what did his son even do but apparently he has done so much that he will one day return to do what exactly you ask? According to most crazy right wing, religious nut jobs he going to damn the non-believers. I am okay with that, it's my choice so let me get damned along with other smart logical thinkers. I saw logical because the era of religion has no logic; "God did everything with his magical penis" that's like saying... well nothing comes close to that.