What gives me gas

Here is the list of things that give me gas, I know it's not like my usual post and my response to that is for you to hit yourself with your keyboard until it starts to read like my other posts. Anywhoozle here is the list:

1) Non-Indian Tech-support(yes it does exist)
2) The movie Salt, starring Brad Pitt's wife who adopted the African refugee child
3) Glenn Beck (I'm not sure why but I think it has to do with the Bull Shit he calls news)
4) Rick Sanchez from Rick's List on CNN, if you understand why he gives me gas, you're not an idiot but for those who don't know, I will show you:

5) Kesha, you know what you did!
6) Hippies that promise you that the pot they are selling is good, so you decide to buy a lot and turns out it sucks and so your whole week is ruined because you spent $100 on it.
7) Rush Limbaugh... 'Nuff Said
8) Live action Disney Films (thanks for ruining my life Beverly Hills Chihuahua)
9) Truck Stop bathrooms
10) Straight Interior decorators (that job is a right to gay men and it should stay that way because they are the best at it)
11) Panda Express
12) Chai Latte
13) Kosher Hot dogs
14) Good movies such as the Dark Knight, Inception, Slumdog Millionaire
15) Illuminati

Since I was gone

I know I haven't posted anything since everyone gave a damn about the oil crisis in the gulf. The spill not the war. Turns out it took BP 90 days, thats's right 90 fucken days of oil being spilled into the ocean and this solution is not even permanent. Since I have been gone, other shit has been happening also for example Chicago's murder rate is at an all time high. That's fucken terrifying, since I'm going to Second City in Chicago. Also the fact the Mel Gibson, the person blaming the death of Jesus on Jewish people, got in a fight with his wife over the phone about him cheating on her. I guess the Catholic school he went to didn't teach him to be monogamous. This should be a surprise to all of us, Lindsey Lohan is going to jail. WOOPTY FUCKEN DO DA. I don't care, I will never care, and I don't want to meet the person that does care. The iPhone 4g came out, now there's another phone I can't get, thanks Sprint. And most importantly India came out with an item that is rivaling the iPad and it's $35, suck it apple.